Penis man

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Can tag of shame have some advertising moneys now?

It could be worse...

No date for Valentine's day?  It could be worse.  You could be dating a retard.  Let's play spot the retard!

Hard to tell in this one.

Ur doin it rong dood, the batz r suposed to go the other way.  Also, i thinkz we stuck. 

Or you could be this guy.  Alone and retarded. 

Whatever your story is, don't beg to get laid like this guy's doing.  

Happy shameful Valentine's Day.

Bro Infestation

Due to our current economic climate, Monster Energy Drink sales have dropped over a jillion percent, which means that many bros are out of sponsorship money.  Unable to perform extreme sports, many bros are opting to lie low in college until it's safe to come out again.  Your dorm...yes yours...may soon become infested with bros by the hundreds...

 Here we have a solitary bro, flexing to attract a mate.  He wears a ninja thing to draw attention away from his face and toward his body.

He is soon spotted by another bro.  The second bro lifts his arm to release sexual pheromones.  The smell of sweat and Axe body spray is almost overpowering.

Wasting no time, the bro seizes his chance and prepares for penetration.

But we forget that bros don't perform intercourse like normal humans.  In an amazing show of acrobatic prowess, the bros position themselves for the transfer of genetic material through fellatio.  Note that the bros are holding hands, a sign of extreme arousal.  

One of the bros is now pregnant, though it is impossible to tell which.  The couple now stomps the ground, testing for the softest spot on which to build a nest and lay eggs.  In a few short weeks, a clutch of newborn bros will overrun the dorm.

If you see the beginnings of a bro infestation in your res hall, frighten them off by telling them that you will break their white framed sunglasses.  If this fails, simply kill them with fire.  

I may have to rethink vagina fingers

It all started with a retarded vagina fingers pose, but instead of getting punched in the face by me, it ended with a cute girl macking on him.  My world has been turned upside down.  Maybe I'll try doing this to more girls like in Scarface and see what happens.  I'll report back.  
 

See this is what I'm talking about

See, girls at the bar, this is what I was talking about.  You know, we get together and pose in photos that become increasingly more explicit "just to be silly!!!".  Then, gradually a la the "foot in door" phenomenon (thanks UCLA), you get more comfortable I eventually GET ME SOME.

So will you please loosen up?  Take a lesson from this girl and just realize that its all just to be silly.  And if we ended up having sex then hey, how silly would that be!?  It's all just about being silly, remember that.

Siamese twins

It looks like they're joined at the hips...and at the bewbs.  

I started thinking about what it would be like to do the nasty with a pair of (cute) siamese twins.  Ideas started spinning around in my head...some are glorious, some are frightening, some are downright disgusting.  I'll spare you guys the dirty details, but I made a short pro/con list to sleeping with siamese twins. 

Pros:

-two vaginas

-one could feed you while the other is sexing you

-two vaginas

-instead of a hot girl sandwhich you could make like a hot girl taco or something (and you're the beef (and your penis is also the beef))

-two vaginas

Cons: 

-the boob where they are conjoined is probaby giant or deformed or something

-it would be really weird if one shaves and the other doesn't

-only two arms.  that might make you feel like you're banging a huge fatty with four legs instead of siamese twins in a steamy three-way (I bet you've never heard those words in that order before)

The face

When people take pictures with weird pose that is not a simple smile, it must be because they think that this novel pose is somehow more attractive.  

It's kinda like that horrible "kissy face" that girls are so fond of but with a twist, and that twist is "shift everything to the right."  

At any rate, people typically try to look as attractive as possible in pictures, particularly those that end up on facebook.  I dunno...I guess meeting a girl who looks like she got bitch-slapped by a wooden plank so hard that one side of her face relocated to the other half has its appeal.  At least you know that she can take a good beating.  

I night of fantastic sex

The above photo is the violent aftermath of a night spent with the girl in the below photo.

She probably tore his penis off.

She can't get it up

I'd be crying too if my gigantic furry penis was forever limp.  Check out those stretch marks.