A banger in the mouth

Ok, for the last week or so I tried to think of something funny to say about this photo.  However, nothing I came up with was funnier than the photo itself.  So without further ado: 

"I started with a hot dog and now I can effectively suck off a beer can.  My goal is to some day give a blue whale a BJ.  They are the gentle giants of the deep."

Blue Man Groupie

Pick any of the captions below, they're all pretty much the same:

"Guess what, I sucked off a Blue Man after the show."

"Bukkake?  They should call it BLUkkake!"

"I guess 'autograph' translates to 'cockslap' in Bluemanese." 

"I thought I was giving a blowjob to just one of them, but then all three circled around me like in one of those dirty Japanese movies.  Now excuse me,  I need to get a wet towel...wait, what??  It's blue?!  No fucking way!"

"So I was donating my life savings to my local orphanage when the guy painting my mural on the wall slipped and his bucket of paint went careening into the crowd so I jumped in front of a bunch of orphans and puppies to shield them-OK, no I sucked off a Blue Man after the show." 

Feel free to make your own captions in the comments.  

Girls, Don't be Fooled by Losers

I would like to refer everyone back to this post, where I first witnessed this phenomenon.  

This guy has absolutely NO redeeming or interesting qualities to his character that he could apply in a social setting.  Realizing this, he decides to wear some eye-catching ridiculous neon shirt-net outfit so that girls will just "omg I have to take a picture with that dude!".  Then he tries to stutter his way into a companion for the night.  If he fails, at least he has some new photos of himself with cute girls to post to his profile.  

Two Headed Man Boobs Girl

Judging from the shitty piece of colorful shit on the wall behind them, and the toilet paper ghosts above, I'd say these are DESMA "students".  In case you didn't need any further proof that DESMA "students" shouldn't be allowed to reproduce or receive any real life attention from other human beings...